we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
