So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
