So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
