I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
