Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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