why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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