i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
