why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
