thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
