I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i will never coherently bang her
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
