Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
