question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
