Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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