Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
