so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We had to coat check the pizza.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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