There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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