If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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