..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't turn off my feet"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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