I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
