my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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