it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
