..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She bit a glass in half.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
