Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
