jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
