So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
