I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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