Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
