Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize