awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I touched a dick in church today
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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