im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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