PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
