As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
