I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
