sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
