I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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