i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
