Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
