people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The uberlube is also flammable
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
