I want to make a zoo with you.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We got so high we made milksteak
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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