Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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