i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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