it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
