Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
