She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize