Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i believe in u and ur pee
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
