I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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