If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dignity is for republicans.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
