Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
