can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize