I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's official drugs can't kill me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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