at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
