i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i think i just lost a toe
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
