In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
