i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
