Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
