every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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