no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I did not marry a roomba.
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