Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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