You smell like stripper and shame
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
FUCK WHALES
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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