HIV tests are more positive than that guy
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize