Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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