I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
