Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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