three words: i give head
three words: not that well
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
