I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
