a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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